The Adventures of Team 9 Catering  Phantasm
by Cyberchao X
Summary: "The Adventures of Team 9 Catering" doesn't quite need an AO for its Phantasms like "The Scarlet Devil" did, but it'll still be plenty juicy. Lots of pairings, so for now not specifying characters.
1. Chapter 3

The Adventures of Team 9 Catering ~ Phantasm  
>by Cyberchao X<p>

Disclaimer: I make no claims; therefore I disclaim.

CCX: About effing time I redid this chapter for an M rating.

Chapter ➂

"I'm surprised that Cirno-chan okayed this team," Wriggle Nightbug said. "Not that I'm complaining."

"Well, she said that I'd get to go, and Mystia-chan insisted that this was your sale and that you were a must, and of course Chen-chen has to drive the cart…"

"But why _is_ that?"

"I dunno. Something to do with being a cat."

"I thought that was wheelbarrows." (A/N: It's some sort of Japanese pun; ZUN himself used it when characterizing Orin.) "Well, it's nice being away from their bickering for once."

"Ha, yeah…"

Yamame and Yuugi greeted them at the entrance to the Underground. Yuugi was far more controlled than her fellow oni, Suika Ibuki, though no less drunk. Wriggle had never understood why Suika never really seemed to build up the tolerance to alcohol that most oni appeared to have. The duo showed the caterers in. "So glad you made it here in time," Yamame said, wrapping an arm around her girlfriend and pulling her close. "And don't you worry about your uniform," she whispered, "I've got something perfect for you to wear at the party."

Wriggle smiled. One of the perks of dating Yamame was that she always got fashionable clothing, and better still it usually removed any doubts anyone had about her femininity. "I can hardly wait."

"I'm surprised Parsee-san hasn't figured out what you guys are doing," Wriggle observed, as they continued to unload the cart.

"Yeah, this is going to be quite the party," Rumia agreed.

Yuugi replied, "It really isn't. Just a few friends from the Underground and the curse goddess and this weird girl who showed up as soon as she heard there was a surprise party going on."

Wriggle and Rumia took a glance at each other and immediately agreed. "Kogasa."

"Is that the sound of a party going on that I wasn't invited to? I'm jealous," Parsee said, wandering down towards the party. The passing of Chen and Rumia over the bridge in their cart sealed it, and she set off, only to immediately be set upon by a large umbrella and a girl's voice yelling "SURPRISE!", followed by other, more familiar voices saying the same thing. "Wh-what's all this? Why wasn't _I_ told that there was going to be a party today?"

"Because that's not how surprise parties work, Parsee-moto! The guest of honor is always the last to know."

"You…threw me a party?"

"Have you forgotten that today is your birthday? Parsee-moto, you can be so hopeless sometimes…Yeah, I was the one who decided to throw a party for you, and Yama-moto helped put it together, even recruited little Wriggle-chan and her friends to help set up."

"…Thank you, Yuugi-san…"

"Cheer up, Parsee-chan. You're supposed to be _happy_ today!"

"H-Hina-chan? You're here too? Oh my…" The bridge guardian girl started to go weak. Hina quickly caught her.

"Should I be insulted by that reaction?" asked the curse goddess, but her tone of voice suggested that she was teasing.

"N-no, not at all…Hina-chan…um…"

"Yes, I think I know what you want." Much to the surprise of everyone in the room, Hina took Parsee's lips and enveloped them with her own, giving the bridge princess a brand new experience. "Way to go _im__ōto_!" Yuugi cried out. (A/N:This is just part of my characterization of Yuugi, calling her closest friends "sisters"—but of course using the word for "little sister", because she's the Cool Big Sis)

Parsee blushed and pushed away when she realized they had an audience. "Later," she whispered.

Meanwhile, Yamame was dragging a not-fully dressed Wriggle down the hall as the younger girl tried to button her blouse on the move. "Okay, what did we miss?" she asked.

"Oh, nothing much compared to what you two were up to," someone, one of the other denizens of the Underground, replied.

"We weren't up to anything at the time," Wriggle refuted, "I was just changing out of my work uniform. I'm also with the company that catered this shindig as well as being a guest at this particular event. Wriggle Nightbug," she said, now fully composed, pulling a business card out of her handbag, "our card."

_**Team 9 Catering**  
><em>**Cirno**, President and CEO  
><strong>Mystia Lorelei<strong>, Founder and COO  
><strong>Daiyousei<strong>, Senior Adviser  
><strong>Wriggle Nightbug<strong>, CFO  
><strong>Rumia Yagami<br>Chen Yakumo**

"Ah…Karlas Kreutzschif. My…my apologies for insinuating that you were doing anything dirty, Miss Nightbug."

"That's perfectly understandable, Kreutzschif-san," the name felt awkward to Wriggle, making it even harder for her not to giggle, "it's nothing we weren't probably going to do after the party anyway. So anyway, what happened?"

"Well, Miss Parsee got her surprise party, got a bit weak-kneed when she saw that this woman from the surface had come, and then the two started making out."

"Really? I did not expect that."

"I did," Yamame said, "it's been pretty obvious that they have a thing for each other. Parsee-san's just too shy to say anything, and Hina-san thinks her shyness is so cute that she hadn't made any moves."

"Hm, I guess you'd know better than me, Miss Yamame," Karlas said. "Because all of us were stunned—even Yuugi was taken by surprise at first, though she recovered quickly."

"And then she started cheering them on, which is what brought us out."

"Yeah, pretty much. Then again, this is a pretty big thing—as far as I know, that was Miss Parsee's first kiss. And her second, and her third, and her fourth…"

"Good thing we've already got a party in her honor, or else we'd have to throw one for her," Yamame said.

"Well, it was nice meeting you, Miss Nightbug. The rumors don't do you justice!"

"Uh…thanks." She turned to her girlfriend. "Rumors?"

"A lot of people here just know that I'm dating a girl who is a bit younger than me, and naturally, I get accused of being a lolicon. So when he says that the rumors don't do you justice, he's complimenting you on how mature you look."

"Your handiwork as much as mine."

"You give me too much credit. I make the clothes to fit your body; you make _them_ beautiful, not the other way around." Wriggle gave a little blush, and Yamame couldn't help but giggle as the younger girl held herself with great confidence for the rest of the night, looking very much the grown woman, if still a bit flat up top.

* * *

><p>"So, gorgeous, ready to unwrap your present?" Hina removed her dress, revealing that she was wearing many more ribbons than usual, many of them overlapping.<p>

Parsee grinned—Hina knew just how to appeal to her playful side. She began to remove the ribbons, uncovering more and more of the curse goddess. Parsee blushed as Hina's breasts became unbound. "So big...I'm jealous."

"Well, I can't help you with that, Parsee-chan...but I can do the next best thing. They're yours to do whatever you want with tonight." Before long there were no ribbons at all covering Hina, only thigh-high stockings and boots.

Parsee somewhat tentatively went back to toying around with Hina's breasts, leading the curse goddess to wonder if maybe things would go smoother if she took control, and started sucking on Parsee's ear. "Eh...Hina-chan..."

"Now, now, that's not how you do it at all!" She forcibly stripped Parsee. "You're really quite lovely; Parsee-chan; I don't see why you can't see that."

"Ha...I'm nothing compared to you, Hina-chan, with your long teal hair and your big bouncy breasts..."

"They're not really _that_ big...and besides, you're still more beautiful than I am!"

She began stroking the bridge princess, first gently, then a bit more vigorously, massaging the small breasts and sucking on them...Parsee's typical moodiness began to dissipate, unsurprising because Parsee's special abilities were subject to Hina's. "Ah...oh, Hina-chan!"

"How's that? Is it satisfactory?" Hina wrapped her legs around Parsee, grinding her body up against that of the bridge princess. "It feels so good, Parsee-chan... You wouldn't disappoint me, would you?"

"Never, Hina-chan!" Instinct took over, guiding Parsee to try to please Hina, arouse her, excite her...but of course, when your entire world is based around being in a constant state of jealousy, the universe will conspire to give you reasons to. Hina did come eventually, but not until _long_ after Parsee had. "So jealous."

* * *

><p>CCX: Somehow, I don't feel like that was long enough to warrant the Phantasm...so why not keep this chapter going?<p>

* * *

><p>"Wow...it's getting pretty late," Wriggle said.<p>

"Far too late for you to be going back to work," Yamame agreed. "Why don't you stick around and we can actually do what we were accused of?"

Wriggle smiled. "I like the way you think, Yama-chan." They'd barely even entered Yamame's home when they both got undressed. While Yamame was generally larger than Wriggle, the two girls had similar shapes—small-busted (though Wriggle was pretty much completely flat), but very wide hips. A biologist might suggest that this is somehow related to the large abdomens possessed by both insects and arachnids, but real-world biology has little place in Gensokyo. What ensued was...kinky, to say the least.

Wriggle had long since gotten used to being webbed up during foreplay; she'd actually come to like it. The silk felt nice on her skin, and she swore that her skin was actually healthier because of the regular webbings, though Yamame insisted that that shouldn't be the case. Wriggle allowed her arms to be bound to her sides; her legs tied together; most of her body was covered in webs, save for her head, which was left free, and her breasts, which were covered by Yamame's hands instead, receiving much TLC under the legend that this would help them grow. Wriggle wriggled about in her cocoon, reacting to Yamame's touch; oh, how wonderful it felt. She often wished she could show Yamame what it was like to be on the receiving end, but she didn't mind the bondage at all. Not when she was being tied up with spider silk.

But now was not the time for a full-body wrap anymore. Yamame began working from the center of Wriggle's chest, lowering the "neckline" until it plunged to her upper thighs, revealing the firefly girl's nethers. Wriggle trembled as Yamame pressed her lips to the opening, sucking on it as her hands still cradled Wriggle's nonexistent breasts...

* * *

><p>CCX: It's strange; due to the non-mammalian origins of these two girls, I can't help but hesitate. Are their "parts" still the same as ours, as would be expected given their humanoid forms, or are there still differences? Well, I'll just treat it as if it were a normal yuri scene.<p>

* * *

><p>Yamame's tongue reaching inside her, oh, it's so wonderful, "Yamame!"<p>

"Sure thing, Wriggle-chan; it's your turn to please me." Yamame freed Wriggle's arms and legs, though Wriggle chose not to discard the silk completely. Furiously nipping at Yamame's chest, she playfully nuzzled the girl's chin with her antennae...the height difference lined them up perfectly.

And yet...hmm, maybe there _was_ a way Wriggle could convey just what that sticky webbing felt like. She covered her hand in the excess webbing, then put two fingers in, teasing at Yamame's sex...it seemed to be working; Yamame was shuddering more than usual. "You see what I mean?"

"Ah, Wriggle-chan! That's...that's really weird! I've never had my silk used against me like that!"

"Now you know how nice it feels!"

"Ah, Wriggle-chan...you're so amazing..."

Wriggle giggled. "Thanks, Yama-chan!"

* * *

><p>CCX: I think that worked.<p> 


	2. Chapter 15

The Adventures of Team 9 Catering ~ Phantasm  
>by Cyberchao X<p>

Disclaimer: This chapter contains many characters, most of which are property of ZUN.

A/N: Oopsies! Looks like there were more Makai natives than I thought. Chapter ⑮ has received a slight change. And although it isn't mentioned in the modified Chapter ⑮, you'll learn by the end of this chapter that this was done for the purpose of _even more pairings._

Also: Sorry for taking so long with the other promised Phantasm chapters—_The Scarlet Devil _Extra and _The Adventures of Team 9 Catering_ Chapter 3 (and _The Scarlet Devil_ Chapter 9 might need some work, too). For those who had followed along in _The Scarlet Devil_, "Phantasm" chapters are more risqué than normal chapters, and usually the "regular" chapter is a shortened version of the Phantasm. This time, however, it's just outright modified, more like the difference between the version of "Panty Thief" available here and the one on adultfanfiction (except that this time, the M-rated one is the _more_ explicit one, whereas "Panty Thief" has an M-rated "clean version" and the true version is AO.) I'll try to get the first _The Adventures of Team 9 Catering_ Phantasm up soon, but I'm a little swamped right now, so it might be a few days. For now, you'll get this, which will be moved to Chapter 2 once the first one is ready (like with Lyrical Dreams).

Phantasm ➁ (Based on Chapter ⑯)

"I don't think I like the fact that we have to hide our true nature for this thing," Shou said.

"I don't, either. The idea of humans and youkai coexisting peacefully is meaningless if the humans don't _know_ that they're coexisting with youkai," Byakuren replied.

"I'm used to it," Nue said. Rather than merely concealing her wings, the illusionist youkai had constructed an entirely new persona—brunette, a bit taller than her normal form, and a bit shapelier (though nothing like the exaggerated figure she often gave herself). Byakuren didn't call her out for it, because she was just thankful that Nue _had_ agreed to disguise herself as a human, and even hid Shou and Nazrin's ears.

"Well, it's not a matter of failure to get along with youkai. Many of these guests are from the other side of the barrier, and don't even know that youkai exist."

Byakuren's group stared at them. "Aren't _you_ from the other side of the barrier?" Ichirin asked.

"We're travelers," Maribel replied.

"This isn't our first time in Gensokyo," Renko clarified. "We're actually Reimu-san's guests, not Sanae-san's."

"You can do that?"

"I think it's Yukari-sama's doing."

* * *

><p>"…Holy sh—<em>Cirno-chan?<em>"

"Yes, Mysti-chan?"

"You look amazing! I've never seen you so dressed up! Lily-chan, you better keep an eye on her; someone might try to steal her away if you leave her on her own."

"You look like you might be one of them," Lyrica cracked.

"Don't be silly. Sure, she looks great, but she's still Cirno-chan. I could never think about her in a romantic light."

"Like I'd want you."

"If I didn't know you two better I'd think that you hated each other."

"Oh, hey, Wriggle-chan. Have you seen Dai-san or Rumia-chan and Kuroi-chan?"

"I'm right here," Daiyousei said, "and have been for the past five minutes."

"Really? You should've said something."

"Take your seats, everyone; it's almost time for the wedding." Unlike the last time, where we were in a first-person story and the narrator wasn't at the ceremony, the only way for us to skip past this part this time is with another cutaway.

* * *

><p>"Koti—I mean, Hakurei-san."<p>

"Yes, Suzuko-san?"

"I was surprised to hear from you again. You just sort of disappeared rather suddenly. But…we'd heard that you'd moved far away. Yet this…isn't far away at all. What happened? Why did you disappear?"

"Told ya someone would still realize that something was 'off'," Marisa whispered to Reimu, who responded by elbowing her.

"Ah, that's…would you believe me if I told you that you're a lot further from home than you think?"

"Oh, right, I forgot. You always _were_ a bit strange." He walked off, and Sanae breathed a sigh of relief.

"He had a point, though. We might not have thought this through, putting the gap right there in Japan near where you came from."

"Yeah. Probably should have put it on a different island. At least then I could claim that the rumors as to how far away I'd moved had merely been exaggerated."

"Why _couldn't_ you just go along with the rumors and have the gap in America?"

"Because nobody would go all the way to America just to go to a wedding for someone they haven't seen in years. Also because there aren't any shrines like this in America, you're even more Japanese-looking than I am, and you're wearing a ceremonial kimono. Anyone who _did_ go would suspect something."

"Well, things are going well so far. Let's get over to the bar so that we can _keep_ it that way; I'm not letting Suika-chan get drunk."

"Don't; you'll just make her mad. Even when she's sober, she's drunk, so you might as well let her drink."

* * *

><p>CCX: I actually know someone who is drunk all of the time, even when she hasn't been drinking. It's the result of drinking too heavily for too long. Moving on…let's take note of the fact that this is close to, if not over, a decade after the earliest PC-98 games, and that therefore any human characters from those games would have aged noticeably…<p>

* * *

><p>"Didn't I just see you over there?" Chiyuri asked.<p>

"Oh, you must have met my twin sister," Kuroi replied. "She's the nice one."

"Then you are…?"

"The naughty one," Kuroi replied, grabbing Chiyuri's chest.

"Hey! No molesting my cute little assistant! Only I can do that!" Yumemi shouted.

"Stop living in the past, Yumemi-san; I'm not your 'cute _little_ assistant' anymore, and we were never more than friends with benefits anyway!" She turned back to Kuroi and said, "So please," she hesitated a moment before addressing her, "Yagami-san…go right ahead and continue." She lifted the top of her dress a bit to allow Kuroi to reach in and grope her directly, if she so desired.

"How did you…?"

"I met your sister already, remember?"

"As tempting as it may be to do that right here and now…I think perhaps we need to go off somewhere where I can make things a bit more private." She led Chiyuri to a shady area and put up a bubble of darkness before peeling away the white dress, leaving the woman in a pair of lacy panties, thigh-high stockings held up by a garter belt, and high-heeled shoes, all of which were also white.

"Ah…I never expected someone who looks so young to be so good…but you're not really as young as you look, are you?"

"Nope. I'm Kuroi, by the way."

"Kuroi-san…ah, right, my name's Chiyuri Kitashirakawa."

"Chiyuri-chan…you're pretty cute, you know that?" Chiyuri giggled.

* * *

><p>"Do you want anything to drink, Koma-chan?" Shikieiki asked.<p>

"Huh? Oh, Eiki-sama, please, allow me to get those…"

"Nonsense. Some walking around would do me some good." _"And hopefully make things a bit more comfortable…maybe I _should've _just gone commando."_ The dress Komachi had come up with was the same shade of blue as her judge's robes, coming down just past the knee but with a slit up one side that went all the way to the middle of her pelvis. It was also cut somewhat low, with a neckline that curved around her small breasts, allowing her to still give off the effect of cleavage.

The fact that she was trying to work out a wedgie added even more of a shake to her step, and as she headed over to the bar, she couldn't help but notice that Komachi had been right—she was being stared at quite a bit. A small voice in the back of her head told her that all of those people were guilty of lust. She ignored it, because they were lusting over _her_, goddamnit! Nobody ever lusted over her! Well, Komachi did _now_, but that was only _after_ Shikieiki had thrown her on the ground and brusquely took her virginity. She couldn't exactly fault Komachi for that one.

Upon arriving at the bar, she received a very crude pick-up line, and it took all of her strength not to judge him right there (he wasn't from Gensokyo, so he probably wasn't even in her jurisdiction) and to instead smile, thank him for the offer, and tell him that she was already with someone. The guy tried to push it, so the bartender intervened. "She said 'no', dumbass," Koharu said, grabbing him by the collar and throwing him to the ground. "Go bother someone else."

"Thanks for that, Kobayashi-san," Shikieiki said.

"No problem. What'll you be having?"

"A gin and tonic for me and a strawberry daiquiri for Koma-chan."

"You know, a young-looking thing like you, I'm going to have to card you," Koharu teased. Shikieiki stared at her nervously and started fumbling around in her purse. "It was a _joke_, Shiki-sama. I know you're more than old enough to drink. Also, given your position, I'm not sure I'd deny you even if you weren't."

Shikieiki laughed nervously. "Of course. How silly of me…"

* * *

><p>Also receiving a pick-up attempt from a non-Gensokyan male was one Lyrica Prismriver, but the poor guy chose the <em>wrong<em> girl to use that line on. He happened to mention that he was in a _band_… "Oh, really? Let's see what you've got, then…" She prepared to get out her keyboard.

"Excuse us for a moment…" Mystia quickly pulled her away. "Lyrica-chan, have you forgotten that there's a 'no-weird stuff' policy in effect? You can't just conjure a keyboard out of thin air and then play it without touching it! That guy isn't even from here!"

"Ah…you're right. I guess we'll just have to ask the band if we can take over for a bit."

"'We' meaning the two of you, or are you including me in this?"

"Not really sure. A lot of the more impressive stuff I know is strictly instrumental, and I'd be more than happy to take care of _this_ myself."

"Hmm…you know most of the themes by heart, right?"

"Of course."

"I'll be right back." She headed off in the direction of the Table of Darkness.

"So?" the guy asked.

"Well, as I was saying, I'm in a band, too. You got any music on you? Since we likely don't know many of the same songs, we'll make it fair by each picking a song."

"You have your instrument on you?"

"No, but I'm sure the band will let us commandeer the stage for a bit if we explain what's up."

"Sounds like fun. You want to go first?"

"Nah, you first." The guy was a guitarist, so the two were able to play together. Lyrica naturally nailed her part perfectly, and just as they were finishing up, Mystia returned with the sheet music. While it probably would've been more appropriate to play one of Reimu's many themes, or perhaps "Faith is for the Transient People", but neither would properly showcase Lyrica's skills (and with the latter, she ran the risk of being shown up), which is why Mystia went over to the Scarlets' table and got a transcription of the sheet music for "Septette for the Dead Princess". "Think you can keep up?" Lyrica taunted. The guy couldn't. At this point, the band asked if she wanted to stay up there (which made their own keyboardist a bit pissed), but she declined, saying that she was here as a guest and only took the stage to show up that guy.

"Well, that _was_ pretty good," Remilia had to admit in regards to Lyrica's performance of her theme, as she and Mystia went over to the Scarlets' table afterwards. "Just a shame that you had to use it to show up a less talented musician who couldn't do it justice."

"It happens. Thanks for all of your help," Lyrica replied.

"No trouble at all," Sakuya replied.

* * *

><p>Also in the department of "weird youkai stuff"… "Ah, there you are, oneechan! You know you're not supposed to be making darkness barriers…" Rumia got a better look at just what Kuroi was up to. "Ah, Kuroi! Stop molesting Kitashirakawa-san!"<p>

"I got her permission!" Kuroi rebutted. "Well, her permission to continue, anyway, even after her friend told me to stop."

Rumia blushed. "Heh, Oneechan _does_ have that effect on people, doesn't she? Still…I'm sorry for my sister's behavior." Rumia bowed to Chiyuri and turned backed to Kuroi. "As for you, oneechan, you're staying with me." She took Kuroi's hand.

"But Rumi-tan…"

Rumia made puppy-dog eyes at her twin. "Please, onee-chan…just stay with me."

Kuroi nervously looked down. "Of-of course, Rumi-tan. I won't go anywhere."

"Thank you…oneechan."

"Uh…see you again sometime, Kuroi-san?" Chiyuri asked, putting her hair back in the pigtails she always wore around Yumemi.

Kuroi nervously looked over at her younger sister and said, "…We'll see."

* * *

><p>"So, this is your friend who had to come over early?" Mokou asked.<p>

"Yeah, this is Koharu Kobayashi. Koharu-san owns a bar in the Human Village."

"Eh? If she's the owner, why is she tending the bar?"

"She does both."

"More hands-on that way. Besides, it's the bartenders that patrons usually spill all of their troubles to."

"And Keine-chan is…troubled?"

Koharu laughed nervously. "Not as bad as some of our patrons. But everyone has some problems that they need to work out sometimes, right?" Keine was praying that Koharu didn't slip up and mention that Mokou was the root of most of Keine's "troubles"—of course, Koharu was far too professional to ever do such a thing.

"I suppose. But Keine-chan always seems so together. After all, she has to deal with trying to pass herself off as a normal human despite changing form every full moon, and she never seems to have any trouble at all."

"It's not good to just suppress everything, though. Sometimes you need an outlet."

"Don't I know it!" Kaguya chimed in. "Mokou-tan and I used to channel it all into fighting with each other…but then we found that there were other things we enjoyed doing with each other that served as an outlet just as well."

"So you must be Kaguya-hime, then. Keine-chan mentioned that her best friend was going out with the moon princess."

"You talk about us?" Mokou asked, curious.

"Yeah, you know…a bit…"

"Only good things, I'm sure." She pressed her cheek against Keine's, wrapping an arm around the were-hakutaku. Keine suddenly seemed very uncomfortable, but Koharu was the only one who seemed to notice.

"Well, we probably shouldn't hold Koharu-san up any longer than we have to," Keine said quickly as their drinks arrived, and Kaguya, Mokou, and Keine headed back to their table.

"Geez…_none of them_ see it?" Koharu muttered.

"You mean Keine-san's one-sided attraction to Mokou-san?" Koharu hadn't noticed that Eirin hadn't returned to the table with the rest of her group. "I've noticed…but no, neither Kaguya-hime nor Mokou-san have picked up on this. Being responsible for Kaguya-hime's happiness, I choose not to let them know, because Mokou-san _does_ truly love Keine-san as a friend and would likely become distressed if she learned how much pain she was causing her, and by extension, Kaguya-hime would become unhappy."

"You're probably right about that. I feel bad for Keine-chan, though." Eirin couldn't help but notice the way Koharu referred to Keine, and commented on it. "No, no, it's nothing like that." She held up her hand, showing Eirin that she was already married. "I know that technically Keine-chan probably _is_ older than me, but I'm further along in my lifespan, so I feel like the caring sempai." (A/N: Remember that the term sempai isn't restricted to a school setting—a coworker who is your senior but not your superior would also be "sempai".)

"Of course. That makes sense."

* * *

><p>"So?" Shinki asked, as Alice and Marisa happened by her table. "Have you two gotten to work giving me any cute grandchildren?"<p>

"B– Wh– MOM!" Alice yelled. "Don't ask such embarrassing questions!"

"_What?_ Is it so wrong for me to want grandchildren now that my daughter is married?"

"It's not like we can just have sex and poof, one of us is pregnant," Alice said. "There are special methods that have to be undertaken to have a baby with two female parents."

"So start undertaking!"

"Mom…"

"You know, I'm sure there must be _some_ sort of sin going on here," Shikieiki said—she and Komachi had been seated at the same table as the Makai group (minus Yuki and Mai, who were there with Gengetsu and Mugetsu respectively), along with Elly and Yuuka—"but I can't figure out exactly what it is."

"Lighten up, Shiki-sama. You always act like you have a stick up your butt," Alice said.

"It's probably that Rod of Remorse of hers," Marisa cracked. Meanwhile, Shikieiki's hands instantly went to her behind, and she blushed.

"Not exactly right, but surprisingly close," Komachi said.

"SHUT UP KOMA-CHAN!"

"Yes, my lady."

"Actually, Shiki-sama has been in a pretty good mood today," Shinki said.

"I think it's because of all the attention she's been getting," Yuuka opined.

"Attention?" Marisa asked.

"You didn't notice? Stand up and show Kirisame-san how pretty you are, Eiki-sama," Komachi said. Shikieiki blushed and did so, turning around quickly to show every side.

"Ah…wow, that's…uh…" Marisa looked at Alice weakly.

"It's okay; she turned me on, too," Alice said, blushing.

"Arinya!"

Shikieiki was turning bright red. "I think I overdid it…"

"See, I told you this would be much better than what you had wanted to do."

"Not a word about that, okay?"

"Okay, Eiki-sama." Marisa and Alice were both curious, but knew better than to push the yama.

* * *

><p>True to Mystia's prediction, Cirno was swarmed with attention, from suitors both male and female. She handled it…well, exactly as you'd expect a nine-ball to handle it, which is to say that she didn't, at all. Lily's presence helped fend off some of them, as Lily followed Mystia's advice and clung to Cirno's side, but nevertheless she was inundated by admirers (including a certain lolicon professor of comparative physics whose assistant had gone off with one of Cirno's coworkers).<p>

She wasn't the only member of Team 9 that was getting significant attention, however. Wriggle and Yamame were surrounded by females, many of them non-Gensokyan, who were enthralled with their unique dresses. As a result, Yamame had been taking a lot of orders and was going to have little choice but to open up a shop _outside_ of Gensokyo. She would have to speak to Yukari about trying to make that possible. For the moment, though, the inside of the shrine was being used for preliminary purposes. While the "no weird stuff" rule prevented Yamame from actually starting to make the dresses, there was nothing against taking measurements…and once the straight male guests caught wind of what was going on, there was suddenly a rush of people heading from the front of the shrine to the back, all trying to peep on Yamame's measurement-taking.

"I _really_ want to just sit back and enjoy the party…but they're making it _so_ hard!" Shikieiki complained.

"Look on the bright side, Eiki-sama…there's finally enough of a break in the staring at you that I can give you some sweet relief."

Shikieiki was momentarily confused, then turned beet-red as she felt the uncomfortable thong being removed from her body. "Koma-chan…don't be so shameless!"

"It's more comfortable this way, though, isn't it?"

"I-it is…but…it also is more revealing. Even if I avoid showing off my bare skin, I could get…you know… 'camel-toe.'"

"Quit worrying so much. You'll be fine. Besides, you've definitely more than managed to be impressive, right?"

"Right."

With Yamame inside doing measurements, the attention on Wriggle had dropped to a minimal amount, but she wasn't being completely ignored. "You and Yamame-san certainly were getting a lot of attention, weren't you? I'm jealous."

"Eh? I didn't expect to see you here, Parsee-san!"

"Of course not. Nobody ever invites _me_ to parties." The bridge princess youkai was wearing a rather plain-looking brown dress—Wriggle figured that Yamame must not have known that Parsee would be there, either, or else she would have made something better.

"Will you lay off? You're my 'and guest', so just enjoy yourself." The teal-haired curse goddess wore a long red velvet gown with white lace trim, her long hair flowing freely and reaching down to her waist. Her shoes were the same dark red as her dress, worn over black pantyhose.

"Yes, Hina-chan," Parsee replied, blushing.

* * *

><p>At the beginning of the wedding, Aya Shameimaru had been quite frustrated. Yes, she was still taking pictures and writing a story, but being grounded severely hampered her ability to do the former to the degree she desired. However, that had all changed when Yamame started getting orders coming in left and right, because Yamame needed a good picture to work off of when coming up with ideas (and to associate names with faces in this particular case), and since there were far too many to actually have the girls model for her, photos would have to be taken. Which meant Aya. Better yet, Yamame wouldn't even have any <em>use<em> for the negatives, so Aya was more than free to do what she wanted with them…and she had been doing a brisk business selling the pics of the naked girls to the perverted guys (and girls) who had been trying to peek. Life was good.

* * *

><p>"Why wasn't I allowed to bring Okuu-chan along?" Flandre asked. She had begun to understand the concept of dating and was coming to grips with the fact that she <em>did<em> have feelings for Okuu, and although the only members of the SDM that had girlfriends present were Sakuya and Remilia (who were with each other), a look at the other couples suggested that some of the guests were only there because they were dating other guests.

"Utsuho-san's powers make her too dangerous to bring to such an event, and on top of that, her Third Leg would be too difficult to hide," Sakuya said.

"That's crazy! If my wings can be hidden, anything can be hidden!" Flandre had never been as still as she'd been throughout the reception, as not even the concealing illusion could stop Flandre's "sparkly rainbow trick".

"Perhaps we should leave early," Remilia said.

"Can't," Patchouli replied, "the Gensokyans can't leave until after the non-Gensokyans because the front gate is currently a gap."

"We'll leave through the back…or something. I don't know…"

"If we can be sure that nobody's watching, I _could_ always just gap you guys away," Yukari said. The Yakumos and Yuyuko and Youmu were at the same table as the SDM crew.

"Nah, forget it. It won't be long before the sun sets, anyway."

* * *

><p>"So, how did we do?" Reimu asked.<p>

"Well, I don't think anyone got too suspicious. A couple of people noticed the lopsided gender ratio, but I managed to convince them that at a lesbian wedding, you'd expect a lot of same-sex couples, right? And luckily that _did_ work both ways because a couple of my male guests turned out to have male lovers anyway, so it was plausible. I'm a little concerned by how well it worked, actually; about half of the girls have dress orders pending with Yamame-san and one of them took Nitori-chan home with her."

"Yeah…wait, _what?_"

"Hey, it means Nitori-chan isn't hung up on Marisa-chan anymore."

"True. What about your other former cohorts from Youkai Mountain? I was surprised that Hina-sama was the only one who brought a date."

"Aya-chan did too."

"Right. I forgot that Momiji-san wasn't actually on the guest list. Still, they're not actually dating."

"Yes, well, Momiji-chan didn't really get the type of attention she wanted…most people thought she was a guy. Aya-chan, well, I didn't expect much out of her, because she was too busy selling copies of the pictures she took for Yamame-san to all of the perverts. As for the Aki sisters…I'm a little surprised that neither one of them got any attention. I thought Minoriko-sama looked damn good."

"Poor girls, always getting ignored…you'd think that being goddesses would prevent that, wouldn't you?"

"Well, we moved here because of a lack of faith, so even goddesses can get ignored sometimes."

"But they never have any trouble with getting faith; it's just their physical presence that gets ignored."

"True, true. So…why do we still have guests here?"

Reimu turned around and noticed a conspicuous blob of darkness. "Ignoring the fact that your powers aren't even supposed to work properly right now…why are you still here and how did you slip away from your sister?"

"Ah, that's…well, it's a lot easier for Yuri-chan to get back to her world than it would be for me to get back here if I went with her, and besides I still don't want to be _too_ far away from Rumi-tan, and…"

"I think you have some issues to work out with your sister if you couldn't just bring her back to your place. Given how much you two seemed to dislike each other, I'm surprised that she seems to be so afraid of losing you again."

"Uh, that's…er…" Kuroi thought for a moment. "I should go." She sped off with absolutely no consideration for Chiyuri, who was now fully exposed to the owners of the shrine and was more than just a bit wet. She frantically got dressed and left.

"Finally. So, shall we?"

"We'd better. We can't really go off on a honeymoon, so we might as well just go all night long."

"Sounds good to me."

* * *

><p>"You're back sooner than I expected."<p>

"Reimu-chan managed to instill a conscience in Kuroi-chan and she ran off to be with her sister."

"They were pretty cute," Yumemi said, "and judging by that, they're pretty close. You think maybe you could convince them both to come here and we could have a foursome?"

Chiyuri hit her with a folding chair.

* * *

><p>CCX: Wow, that was long. And hilarious. I'm not sure which part was more fun, writing all of the Shikieiki parts or writing all of the Kuroi parts. Ja ne!<p> 


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